sweet moments

I am not the Mom who is overcome with love and emotion and tears when my babies first come out.

Not that I am heartless, I mostly feel a little out of it, a little overwhelmed, and a little like, I can't believe a real human being just came out of me. 

I am not sure how it is for everyone else, but that feeling of love just hits me at some point later, usually unexpectedly.

I wish I could pinpoint it with Chase and Mia, I do recollect it was at some point when I was home from the hospital.

But I do know the exact moment it hit me with Lyla, so I would like to remember it.

We were getting ready to leave the hospital (remember we were leaving after only 25 hours of giving birth.)

I was excited to be going home, was running around the hospital room making sure we had everything, and changing the baby girl into a little outfit I had brought for her.

Matt left to go get the car and the nurse left to go get me a wheelchair.

It was just me and little Lyla, waiting in the room, bags packed, ready to go.

I looked down at this little one, in the little newborn clothes I had brought for her (which were too big on her), wrapped in a blanket I had brought from home.

And all of a sudden I had a rush of emotion come over me.

I was bringing this sweet little baby home and she was mine. 

And I had two other precious, beautiful children who were waiting for us to come home.

I felt like the luckiest person alive.

And I tried to choke back tears so that the nurse wouldn't come in to a crying mother and wonder if they shouldn't be sending me home.

I kissed her, told her I loved her, and promised her I would take care of her, protect her and love her always.

It was a sweet moment.